My Body Struggle

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Getting a little bit honest here..

Almost two years ago we found out we were having our beautiful baby girl. So for nine months my body was changing and transforming to create room and to grow our baby girl. As most of you may know, your body changes a whole lot during pregnancy;Boobs get bigger, hips get wider, your belly obviously gets larger,and many more changes. Everybody looks different while pregnant, and everybody’s body changes differently. Everybody always says not to compare yourself to others but we all do it, whether we want to or not. I follow many mamas on Instagram and wish I looked as beautiful as they did while I was pregnant. To me, I looked absolutely awful pregnant. I had so much water retention that I didn’t even look like myself. Honestly I did not gain that much weight only about 30 lbs(which I guess for me, 5’2 and 115 lbs before pregnancy, it did make a difference as I was so tiny). Till this day I still hate looking at pictures of myself during that time, which I know that I shouldn’t care because I created a beautiful baby girl but i’m still human after all.

Now a year and three months later and I still have about 5-10 lbs to go to get to pre-pregnancy weight. Although I am almost there(mind you I haven’t really done much to loose it yet), my body is in no way the same as it was before pregnancy. I was definitely not one of the lucky few that was able to loose the weight and get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. My body is just not the same anymore. I have bigger/saggier boobs, a mom tummy, a bigger butt, wider hips, and larger thighs. That being said, none…NONE of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. I had kept all of my clothes in hopes that one day I would be able to get back into them. Yesterday I went through all of those clothes and put them for donation. I realized that my body is not the same, and even with exercise and a healthy diet, that will not change the way my new body is. I had a hard time coming to this realization and definitely got emotional. I am not in love with my new body, not yet. I still look at myself and don’t see that beautiful young woman that I used to be. I still feel uncomfortable in my own body. The saggy boobs that feed my child, the stretch marks all over my butt and thighs that stretched in order to grow my baby, my mom tummy that just wont go down. This is real life. I struggle with my body just as many others do. I may not show it but these are my feelings. I never thought I would share this(as I am a quiet, private person) but I started this blog for a reason, I want to be able to connect with you all and let you know that I am not perfect, I struggle with things too.
Although I may never be comfortable wearing a two piece bathing suit again, or ever be able to wear tops without some sort of bra to support the goods, or may never be able to fit into size 0-2 pants, It is okay! We have to embrace our new bodies. They created our beautiful babies! I am not there yet with acceptance and it may take a little while, and that is OKAY! We all need to support each other and bring each other up. So I will end this by telling you,You are BEAUTIFUL, no matter what you may think!

6 Comments

  1. Lilit Khanoyan

    July 20, 2017 at 11:53 am

    I think you look great, and you’re right: these bodies created life and we need to be proud of it. You’re on the right path, my dear, and I’m right there behind you 💕

  2. Ashley

    July 20, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Oh my how my body has changed too! I hear your heart friend. It’s all been a huge struggle for me too. My joints hurt, everything hurts! My knees especially. Breastfeeding like I planned isn’t working out either. Finding the time to pump, to care of husband, house and baby. Trying to fit in writing. It’s exhausting. But you’re right. It’s okay. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We don’t have to fit into a size 2 again. I too believe this new size is right where God wants me. I just have to remember that! Thank you for the honest post.

  3. Lindsey

    July 21, 2017 at 12:50 am

    I appreciate your honesty. I think we all have similar feelings. I need to loose baby weight and improve my muscle tone. I try not to let it get me down. Hugs

  4. Christina | From Under a Palm Tree

    July 21, 2017 at 9:40 am

    First of all, you are so beautiful! I love how honest you are, it’s so brave but so many people do relate I’m sure. I’ve never had a baby but I do remember a time when I was a size 3 – 10 years ago. Since graduating high school I’ve gained roughly 40 pounds. It took me a long time to look in the mirror and be okay with that. I don’t love every part of my body and I’m working on that. But you know what I tell myself? I’m a woman now – this is how growing up is supposed to look. Maybe not for everyone but I think at some point we all grow into our bodies. Plus you look amazing! And I love that bathing suit!

  5. Ashley

    July 21, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Our stories are very similar! I too was a little over 5 ft and about 115 pre -pregnancy. Although I’m back to the same weight, there are so many things that you must come to terms with that will never be the same. You’re honestly and vulnerability is beautiful! Thanks for sharing!

  6. Jessica K

    July 21, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    You and your daughter are absolutely beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story. <3

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